Monday, October 25, 2010

warning: emotional blog post

YAY a real blog post. Last Friday night, Motion City Soundtrack came to town along with some really shitty bands. They came to the Avalon theater, which is the Salt Lake City haven of shitty bands. (Brokencyde is playing there soon. Shall we torch the building or start a riot?) The Avalon is a shitty venue too though; it was once an old movie theater, so there's weird ampitheater-like seating, and it just totally gets in the way. But nothing could stop me from seeing Motion City Soundtrack. FUCK they're amazing.

But first was some band called Valencia that I didn't even see. I showed up right before Saves The Day, who I didn't even know was playing at all. It intensely fucked with my mind for a second, because I always get Saves The Day and Say Anything confused for some reason. Probably because A) I care about neither of them and B) because neither of their names are unique in any way; a band name HAS to have at least one word in it that isn't used in every other sentence of everyday speech. True story. Here's a picture of Saves The Day.

They're an emo band, nothing more to say.

So then Motion City Soundtrack came on. And it was kind of cool because normally there's this huge anticipation for when the band you came to see finally comes on stage; you've usually been standing for hoursss on end and your feet hurt and you're secretly wishing all the other bands would finish up their sets already. But since I'd only been there for about 20 minutes before MCS, I didn't feel any of that. Kinda neat.

So they opened with The Weakends... which set kind of a darker mood at first, but I liked it. I loved it. I love that song. Absolutely beautiful. I'm trying to decide on lyrics for my first tattoo, and oh how I'd love to get some MCS ones, but, they're all pretty dismal.

They didn't play a couple that I would have liked to hear, like Stand Too Close or Time Turned Fragile. They said that their merch girl picked the set list that night, which is kind of cool but kind of lame.

So then something happened. It's not something I talk about a lot, in fact I don't share this with anybody, but I will share this one with you.

I have these things in my life that I call "movie moments," and they're really just that. They're very rare, and very existential, and so far, very beautiful. It's when I feel kind of out of my body, and that moment feels defined in some way; it's either just so beautiful it deserves to be in a movie, or it's kind of like that moment in a movie where it's the "turning point" in the plot. I've only had two so far in my whole life. This is my third.

MCS starts playing Feel Like Rain. This isn't even really one of my favorite songs at all. But what is special about it though, is that it's one of the first MCS songs I'd ever heard. I was 13 when I fell in love with this band. I heard "The Future Freaks Me Out," saw them at Warped 05, bought their album instantly, and have been in love ever since. "Feel Like Rain" is off of Commit This To Memory, which I played constantly through the summer before my first year of high school. The summer before I moved to Utah. That summer is so engraved in my mind because it's really the summer that changed everything.

So I hear this song, and quite literally out of nowhere, this realization pours over me that I am now an adult.

I start crying. I'm pretty sure the lights are glistening off my face, and I'm pretty sure the bass player notices, and I've probably upset him quite a bit by looking so upset at his show. But this song they're playing, it's making me realize that I'm still the same 13-year-old girl I was that summer in Las Vegas. I'm the same, but I'm an adult now. The day of this concert, was the first day of my first real job. It was the week I got my own apartment, all to myself. I'm an adult now, but this music is a part of my teenage life that I'll never get to live again, but it's still living with me. I was filled with such joy at that moment, realizing that I've managed to stay true to myself after six whole years of tainting and rearranging.

I didn't mean to write something so emotional. But it was such an emotional moment. But then as quickly as it came, it left. And I was happy and dancing again :)

After Say Anything played, I got an amazing hug from Justin Pierre. And it's still hard for me to think of a way to shortly express all of that emotion I've felt to the person who is the creator of it. (When I meet Gerard Way, I'm fucked.) So I just told him his music is so great, and he signed my ticket.

Oh and I must say, I will always always always love being a part of a whole room of people singing the first verse of "The Future Freaks Me Out." I love how it's a ritual. After six years, I still look forward to that every time :D

It was a goooooooooood night :)

And in other news, I'm working like a little bee. Sometimes when I'm daydreaming at work (I either daydream or am singing to myself about 90% of the time at work) I think about how musicians get up on stage and play music every day for a couple months, and that's their work. Their work is to be creative, and make literally thousands of people happy. I guess I'm making people happy by making them salads... but they're not going to remember it nearly as well as I will remember things like last Friday night. That's going to the grave.

I'm exhuasted. Ryan is seeing Janelle Monae and Of Montreal tonight without me D: jk, I just can't afford it.. so I'm getting myself a yummy coffee drink and relaxing :) Good night. Hooray for horrendously long blog posts.

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