Friday, December 31, 2010

Let's sum it up:

my Christmas presents:

from Ryan:
- robot necklace from ModCloth
- Beach House concert poster from Signed & Numbered
- longggggggggg blue scarf from H&M
- Vosges bacon bar!

from Blake:
- metal vintage Coca-Cola sign for my kitchen!

from parents:
- lots of body stuff (coconut body butter, "secret wonderland" scented things haha)
- $$$
- Love Actually on blu-ray
- gift cards to Starbucks, Urban Outfitters, Victoria's Secret, and Barnes & Noble!

from myself:
- my 37" HDTV! WOOH!
- my blu-ray player! WOOH!
- desk from Ikea
- Gilmore Girls seasons 1 & 2
and more :)

what I'm looking forward to in 2011:

- Deathly Hallows part 2! AH! I'm not really looking forward to that actually, more like dreading.
- Wizarding World of Harry Potter!!!!
- spring semester, learning French :)
- starting school at the U
- a promotion?
- a new job near the end of the year?
- getting my first tattoo
- turning 20
- taking Ryan to Disneyland for the first time

At the end of the year, I like to look ahead rather than backward. I'd rather get excited about what's to come, rather than dwell on what I did wrong and need to fix the next year. These things will happen. It will be a great year :)

Everyone have fun this COLD New Year's Eve.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twenty. Ten.

I'm currently reading No Place Like Home: A Memoir in 39 Apartments by Brooke Berman. I'd never heard of this author before or the book, but I saw it online and it caught my eye. I've been wanting to read more memoirs, and this sounded so perfect for me. It's about a girl who moves out to New York when she's 18 and is constantly moving from apartment to apartment, trying to find her way. Since I, myself, have grown to be such a fan of re-locating, I thought I would relate to this girl. And sure enough, 37 pages in, I'm hooked.

It brought me to the realization that I lived in six different places in 2010. That's quite a few! So as a year-end kind of thing, I thought I'd write my own little mini memoir:

In January 2010, I was living in an off-campus apartment in St. George with two roommates whom I couldn't stand. The weather was bleak, and all I really remember about that time was being miserable. I stayed in my room most of the day or went to Starbucks to read and do homework. Anything to avoid my roommates. It wasn't long until I realized I couldn't live like that anymore. I had to get out.

It just so happened that Ryan and mine's friends Creed and Brittany were moving in and getting their own place together. It was a basement apartment with two bedrooms and no kitchen. They offered to have us take the second bedroom, and we said we'd think about it. But the first time we visited, they had a cat, and I left with my eyes swelled to the size of tennis balls. But once they got rid of the cat, I started thinking that maybe we should move in. Ryan and I wanted to live together, it would get me away from my roommates, and just maybe it would improve my all-around situation. And looking back, I'm not sure if it did, and I'm not sure if it didn't. All I can say is it was one hell of a few months. (Literally, that's all I can say, or I'll be in big trouble.)

Come April or so, Creed and Brittany wanted to move out, so Ryan and I had to as well. In a way we were ready to. At least I was. So I was left to return to my apartment with my old roommates, which I still had a contract to. Technically I had both apartments at the same time. (And that wouldn't turn out to be the only time that happened.) I endured another month with my roommates, went to my first appointment with a psychiatrist, got some pills, never took them, and finished my first year of college in one fell swoop. I was out of there literally hours after my last exam.

So where did I go now? My parents'. Back to Parowan. The plan was to move to Salt Lake City at the end of July. But Ryan and I took a trip up to SLC to look at apartments and found one we liked that had to be rented out at the end of June. So my stay with my parents was cut short, and I was thrilled. Moving to Salt Lake seemed like the grand adventure that every teenager dreams of. Whenever I visited downtown, I fell in love. That love affair is still going - every day. And that summer really was a dream. Looking back now, it could have been anyone's dream! I had an apartment with my boyfriend, I was unemployed, not in school, and basically I just explored the city for the entire summer. We attended the Twilight Concert Series every Thursday, I turned 19, and I discovered new loves of mine like the Food Network and thrift store shopping. I was constantly on the lookout for jobs, and constantly applied, but no luck came my way.

I started school in late August. It wasn't long until I quit. I don't want to explain the whole story, but I'm not a college dropout. I'm going back in two weeks. But ultimately, I found myself not in school and unemployed. So I pursued the job search more diligently, and after about a month, I did something right. I got a job at one of my favorite restaurants, and life felt almost whole. Something was missing.

My love affair with downtown SLC has mostly to do with the history, the old buildings, the city-ness of it all. The apartment I was in was built in the 1950s and it just kind of depressed me, to be honest. The stark white walls. The kitchen that attracted nats for absolutely no reason. I missed the romance and adventure of my relationship. I felt like it disappeared in thin air when we lived together. So I thought, "I want to make that feeling last just a little bit longer." I'll be honest: I will probably move back in with Ryan in a year or so. And we will probably get married in two or three years. But before then, I want to live on my own. I know it's not for everyone, but for me, personally, I believe that most people should live alone for at least a little while, once in their lives. I wanted to know what it was like, and honestly, I couldn't even tell you quite yet. But I'll get to that later.

I moved into a tiny, miniscule apartment in the Avenues. Ryan moved in with his old friend in the Avenues as well. We're seven blocks away from each other. It's nice. My apartment is basically one small room, plus an even smaller bedroom off to the side. The bathroom is too small for anyone larger than myself. I fit in it, but somebody a little bit larger would probably get annoyed very quickly. It literally goes: shower,sink,toilet. No space inbetween. I tell myself I love this place. I will make it my own. It will be adorable.

I began to do so, but my work schedule usually kept me away from my apartment most of the time anyway. I just slept there. But one day, the bulletin board in my building posted that a new unit had opened up and was available for rent: 4A. My curiosity took me up the stairs. Long story short, 4A kicked 2C's ass. And the rent was a mere $5 more a month. I paid my managers a visit and switched apartments.

And that brings me to my current residence. I feel more at home here than in 2C by far. Do I feel more at home here than I did living with Ryan? I'm not sure yet. He is my home. And one day we will have a home together. We talk about it all the time actually. But right now, this experience is something I need for myself. And so far, it's been positive. My neighbors here on the top floor are all actually really friendly. They knock on my door at 11 at night with shot glasses in hand, just to say hi and see if I want to chill. My work schedule prevents this unfortunately. And soon school will too. But balancing work and play is something I want to improve on anyway. I want to challenge myself, and I want to grow. And I promise you, I WILL make this apartment my very own :) I love it here. See my "Independent Living" blog for more on that.

This year was a growing experience for me, for sure. I can't wait to see what 2011 brings. As far as I know, I'm going to SLCC in the spring, working in the summer, and starting at the U in the fall! I'm even more excited to see what happens for me after I graduate at the U. And I can tell, that's going to get here quicker than I can imagine.

I didn't try taking very good pictures today, but I really liked my outfit :)

Probably no more posts for the next two days, so Merry Christmas! I had Christmas with Ryan tonight; we watched Harry Potter at Dolcetti Gelato, had dinner at Pago, went to the Zoo Lights which sucked, and opened presents. I love these kind of days with him :) Tomorrow I'm heading to Parowan to have family Christmas. Lots and lots and lots of love. <3

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Good morning, night, wherever you are.

I highly highly recommend the documentary "America the Beautiful." It's on Instant Queue on Netflix. It's about body image in America with a big focus on the media. I don't know what provoked me to want to watch it, but I'm glad I did. I'm going to look at the world with new eyes. Far too many mornings I wake up and think "I want to look really pretty today!" and spend way too long in front of the mirror. I'm going to make an effort to wake up and say instead, "I want to do something beautiful today. Learn something beautiful. Let my inner beauty shine even brighter than my outer beauty." That's my new year's resolution.

That being said, let's be vain! C: I love this shirt, and the lighting in my bedroom.

I spent money today, surprise surprise! That should be a new year's resolution as well: frugality ftw. I'll try, but I'll really have to plan and control my impulses. But I just had some lunch, and ventured to Forever 21 to look for a nice top for either Christmas or my Christmas work party. I ended up getting two blue cotton tops - couldn't decide between the two. But they were so cheap. And season-versatile. Then I got Ryan another Christmas gift. I kept finding things for him that would be so perfect, but they were all so expensive I had to pass them up :(

We're having our Christmas sometime next week. We're going to have dinner at The Copper Onion and open presents and see the lights (and animals) at the zoo! Sounds like a perfect date night.

Hope you all have a beautiful night.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Everything goes according to planned.

Curls! Yay or nay? My hair is finally somewhat of a decent length, so I decided to try out the curls again. A year and a few months ago, my hair was curled like this all the time, but almost a foot longer. Can't wait to get there again! I like this though, it works.

Moving tomorrow! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new place that is two floors up. I thought I loved my place I'm in now, but I LOOOOOOOOVE my new place. Did I mention I love my new place? The bathroom is literally three times the size of mine now, the oven is literally twice as wide, the fridge is bigger, there's two radiators, the kitchen is seperate from the living room, there's an extra closet, the tiling in the kitchen is adorable, and it has a really pretty view of the mountains as it is on the top floor. Pictures soon.

Oh oh and I'm ridiculously excited for A Very Glee Christmas! Sadly I have to wait to watch it until Wednesday or Thursday after the move.

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? Never looked better and you can't stand it.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

independent living :)

I do not live alone. I live independently. I don't feel alone; I feel in tune with my own spirit and I'm growing more into myself every day. It's really all about the attitude you have. When I come home at night, I don't look at it like I'm coming home to an empty house; I see it as coming home to my sanctuary, my little haven that is all mine. Doesn't that sound wonderful? :)

So here's my list of the best parts of living independently!

1. Personalizing.

The VERY BEST thing about having your own place is getting to do whatever you want with it! I seriously have so much fun picking out things for my apartment. So much so that I can never decide on anything. I think everyone's home should be a totally immersive environment of themselves, so it's really fun for me to find things that match my personality. And if you don't have the money to deck out your place all on your own, then you have the whole place to yourself to make a mess for DIY projects. I plan on getting around to that. I'm going to paint the walls in my new place that I'm moving into on Tuesday.

2. Nobody judges you.

Sometimes I sleep until 2:00. (Rarely, but sometimes it happens.) Sometimes I listen to Taylor Swift. Sometimes I eat way too much ice cream. Sometimes I leave my dishes in the sink for a week. If I lived with anyone else, I would feel SO insecure about these things. But I don't! It's my life, and I don't feel judged for it.

3. Noise factor.

I can't tell you how many times during the school year last year, I was trying to write a research paper and all I can hear is Aaron Carter playing from my living room. For me, roommates = no. I like to study on campus or at coffee shops a lot of the time, but it's SO nice to know now that if I ever need a totally quiet place, my home is there. Also, I never get woken up in the morning by anything whatsoever. Ever. Not any roommates screaming, not my boyfriend playing music or video games, not my mom yelling at me for being lazy. It rules.

Sure, paying the bills all by yourself can suck, but to me, my sanity is priceless, and I absolutely love having my own place to myself :)

And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless. <3

20 Years of Snow

Dressed in all black and new jeans. Feels good!

On Friday night, Ryan took me to the Festival of Trees. So fun and festive! It kind of made me wish I had a Christmas tree haha, but it's okay.

Yesterday I went on a semi-successful Christmas shopping venture. I got my parents covered, and I ordered something for Ryan this morning on Amazon. I also ordered myself The Death of Bunny Munro by Nick Cave. I sat in Barnes & Noble forever, thinking "Should I get this for Blake.. or myself?" Hahah. I thought about buying it, reading it, then giving it to him. But no. I want my own copy C: I don't have enough books! I'm getting Blake something just as awesome though.

I also watched The Runaways last night, which was quite good. I can't wait until I get my 37" TV though. It's almost hard to focus on the tiny, tiny screen I have haha.

And I don't know what I'm doing today. Maybe going to Target for some gift wrap... or Ikea for some Ikea food.

Hope you all had a good weekend! :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Laser Beam

First good day I had in a while! It started out rocky; I almost called in sick to work. But I sucked it up and decided it was worth going. And it ended up being a decent day of work! I started feeling less ill once I started working; not less tired, but less ill. I've been feeling so not myself lately.. I'm not sick, but I do feel like something's wrong. I feel narcoleptic and fatigued 24/7. I'm going to head to the doctor and do some blood tests hopefully this weekend. And hopefully I'm not working AS much next week. I think I just need to rest.

After work, Ryan and I went to Trio. It's a cute little Italian place. We had spaghetti, pizza, and goat cheese cheesecake and it was lovely. Reminded me of summertime when we went to a new place every day :)

Then we went to the super nice Starbucks by my work. For some reason they had for sale one of those couples books- where it asks questions and you and your significant other fill in answers. I always liked the idea of those, but every one that I've found has seemed kind of off and strange. (Especially that "All About Us" one. Seriously, if you answered all the questions in there, you'd probably end up breaking up.) But this one that Starbucks has, is amazing. It has a bunch of quotes about love that lead into the questions you answer. It's called "Two." I'm going to fill it all out first, then give it to Ryan and let him read it, then he'll fill it out and give it back to me. :) So cute!

We're also sending out Christmas cards to our families! Wow, it makes me feel like an adult.

And still speaking of Christmas:

So cute! I love Target Christmas stuff! Never mind that I couldn't agree less with the quote "Let it snow."