Friday, December 31, 2010

Let's sum it up:

my Christmas presents:

from Ryan:
- robot necklace from ModCloth
- Beach House concert poster from Signed & Numbered
- longggggggggg blue scarf from H&M
- Vosges bacon bar!

from Blake:
- metal vintage Coca-Cola sign for my kitchen!

from parents:
- lots of body stuff (coconut body butter, "secret wonderland" scented things haha)
- $$$
- Love Actually on blu-ray
- gift cards to Starbucks, Urban Outfitters, Victoria's Secret, and Barnes & Noble!

from myself:
- my 37" HDTV! WOOH!
- my blu-ray player! WOOH!
- desk from Ikea
- Gilmore Girls seasons 1 & 2
and more :)

what I'm looking forward to in 2011:

- Deathly Hallows part 2! AH! I'm not really looking forward to that actually, more like dreading.
- Wizarding World of Harry Potter!!!!
- spring semester, learning French :)
- starting school at the U
- a promotion?
- a new job near the end of the year?
- getting my first tattoo
- turning 20
- taking Ryan to Disneyland for the first time

At the end of the year, I like to look ahead rather than backward. I'd rather get excited about what's to come, rather than dwell on what I did wrong and need to fix the next year. These things will happen. It will be a great year :)

Everyone have fun this COLD New Year's Eve.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twenty. Ten.

I'm currently reading No Place Like Home: A Memoir in 39 Apartments by Brooke Berman. I'd never heard of this author before or the book, but I saw it online and it caught my eye. I've been wanting to read more memoirs, and this sounded so perfect for me. It's about a girl who moves out to New York when she's 18 and is constantly moving from apartment to apartment, trying to find her way. Since I, myself, have grown to be such a fan of re-locating, I thought I would relate to this girl. And sure enough, 37 pages in, I'm hooked.

It brought me to the realization that I lived in six different places in 2010. That's quite a few! So as a year-end kind of thing, I thought I'd write my own little mini memoir:

In January 2010, I was living in an off-campus apartment in St. George with two roommates whom I couldn't stand. The weather was bleak, and all I really remember about that time was being miserable. I stayed in my room most of the day or went to Starbucks to read and do homework. Anything to avoid my roommates. It wasn't long until I realized I couldn't live like that anymore. I had to get out.

It just so happened that Ryan and mine's friends Creed and Brittany were moving in and getting their own place together. It was a basement apartment with two bedrooms and no kitchen. They offered to have us take the second bedroom, and we said we'd think about it. But the first time we visited, they had a cat, and I left with my eyes swelled to the size of tennis balls. But once they got rid of the cat, I started thinking that maybe we should move in. Ryan and I wanted to live together, it would get me away from my roommates, and just maybe it would improve my all-around situation. And looking back, I'm not sure if it did, and I'm not sure if it didn't. All I can say is it was one hell of a few months. (Literally, that's all I can say, or I'll be in big trouble.)

Come April or so, Creed and Brittany wanted to move out, so Ryan and I had to as well. In a way we were ready to. At least I was. So I was left to return to my apartment with my old roommates, which I still had a contract to. Technically I had both apartments at the same time. (And that wouldn't turn out to be the only time that happened.) I endured another month with my roommates, went to my first appointment with a psychiatrist, got some pills, never took them, and finished my first year of college in one fell swoop. I was out of there literally hours after my last exam.

So where did I go now? My parents'. Back to Parowan. The plan was to move to Salt Lake City at the end of July. But Ryan and I took a trip up to SLC to look at apartments and found one we liked that had to be rented out at the end of June. So my stay with my parents was cut short, and I was thrilled. Moving to Salt Lake seemed like the grand adventure that every teenager dreams of. Whenever I visited downtown, I fell in love. That love affair is still going - every day. And that summer really was a dream. Looking back now, it could have been anyone's dream! I had an apartment with my boyfriend, I was unemployed, not in school, and basically I just explored the city for the entire summer. We attended the Twilight Concert Series every Thursday, I turned 19, and I discovered new loves of mine like the Food Network and thrift store shopping. I was constantly on the lookout for jobs, and constantly applied, but no luck came my way.

I started school in late August. It wasn't long until I quit. I don't want to explain the whole story, but I'm not a college dropout. I'm going back in two weeks. But ultimately, I found myself not in school and unemployed. So I pursued the job search more diligently, and after about a month, I did something right. I got a job at one of my favorite restaurants, and life felt almost whole. Something was missing.

My love affair with downtown SLC has mostly to do with the history, the old buildings, the city-ness of it all. The apartment I was in was built in the 1950s and it just kind of depressed me, to be honest. The stark white walls. The kitchen that attracted nats for absolutely no reason. I missed the romance and adventure of my relationship. I felt like it disappeared in thin air when we lived together. So I thought, "I want to make that feeling last just a little bit longer." I'll be honest: I will probably move back in with Ryan in a year or so. And we will probably get married in two or three years. But before then, I want to live on my own. I know it's not for everyone, but for me, personally, I believe that most people should live alone for at least a little while, once in their lives. I wanted to know what it was like, and honestly, I couldn't even tell you quite yet. But I'll get to that later.

I moved into a tiny, miniscule apartment in the Avenues. Ryan moved in with his old friend in the Avenues as well. We're seven blocks away from each other. It's nice. My apartment is basically one small room, plus an even smaller bedroom off to the side. The bathroom is too small for anyone larger than myself. I fit in it, but somebody a little bit larger would probably get annoyed very quickly. It literally goes: shower,sink,toilet. No space inbetween. I tell myself I love this place. I will make it my own. It will be adorable.

I began to do so, but my work schedule usually kept me away from my apartment most of the time anyway. I just slept there. But one day, the bulletin board in my building posted that a new unit had opened up and was available for rent: 4A. My curiosity took me up the stairs. Long story short, 4A kicked 2C's ass. And the rent was a mere $5 more a month. I paid my managers a visit and switched apartments.

And that brings me to my current residence. I feel more at home here than in 2C by far. Do I feel more at home here than I did living with Ryan? I'm not sure yet. He is my home. And one day we will have a home together. We talk about it all the time actually. But right now, this experience is something I need for myself. And so far, it's been positive. My neighbors here on the top floor are all actually really friendly. They knock on my door at 11 at night with shot glasses in hand, just to say hi and see if I want to chill. My work schedule prevents this unfortunately. And soon school will too. But balancing work and play is something I want to improve on anyway. I want to challenge myself, and I want to grow. And I promise you, I WILL make this apartment my very own :) I love it here. See my "Independent Living" blog for more on that.

This year was a growing experience for me, for sure. I can't wait to see what 2011 brings. As far as I know, I'm going to SLCC in the spring, working in the summer, and starting at the U in the fall! I'm even more excited to see what happens for me after I graduate at the U. And I can tell, that's going to get here quicker than I can imagine.

I didn't try taking very good pictures today, but I really liked my outfit :)

Probably no more posts for the next two days, so Merry Christmas! I had Christmas with Ryan tonight; we watched Harry Potter at Dolcetti Gelato, had dinner at Pago, went to the Zoo Lights which sucked, and opened presents. I love these kind of days with him :) Tomorrow I'm heading to Parowan to have family Christmas. Lots and lots and lots of love. <3

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Good morning, night, wherever you are.

I highly highly recommend the documentary "America the Beautiful." It's on Instant Queue on Netflix. It's about body image in America with a big focus on the media. I don't know what provoked me to want to watch it, but I'm glad I did. I'm going to look at the world with new eyes. Far too many mornings I wake up and think "I want to look really pretty today!" and spend way too long in front of the mirror. I'm going to make an effort to wake up and say instead, "I want to do something beautiful today. Learn something beautiful. Let my inner beauty shine even brighter than my outer beauty." That's my new year's resolution.

That being said, let's be vain! C: I love this shirt, and the lighting in my bedroom.

I spent money today, surprise surprise! That should be a new year's resolution as well: frugality ftw. I'll try, but I'll really have to plan and control my impulses. But I just had some lunch, and ventured to Forever 21 to look for a nice top for either Christmas or my Christmas work party. I ended up getting two blue cotton tops - couldn't decide between the two. But they were so cheap. And season-versatile. Then I got Ryan another Christmas gift. I kept finding things for him that would be so perfect, but they were all so expensive I had to pass them up :(

We're having our Christmas sometime next week. We're going to have dinner at The Copper Onion and open presents and see the lights (and animals) at the zoo! Sounds like a perfect date night.

Hope you all have a beautiful night.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Everything goes according to planned.

Curls! Yay or nay? My hair is finally somewhat of a decent length, so I decided to try out the curls again. A year and a few months ago, my hair was curled like this all the time, but almost a foot longer. Can't wait to get there again! I like this though, it works.

Moving tomorrow! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new place that is two floors up. I thought I loved my place I'm in now, but I LOOOOOOOOVE my new place. Did I mention I love my new place? The bathroom is literally three times the size of mine now, the oven is literally twice as wide, the fridge is bigger, there's two radiators, the kitchen is seperate from the living room, there's an extra closet, the tiling in the kitchen is adorable, and it has a really pretty view of the mountains as it is on the top floor. Pictures soon.

Oh oh and I'm ridiculously excited for A Very Glee Christmas! Sadly I have to wait to watch it until Wednesday or Thursday after the move.

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? Never looked better and you can't stand it.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

independent living :)

I do not live alone. I live independently. I don't feel alone; I feel in tune with my own spirit and I'm growing more into myself every day. It's really all about the attitude you have. When I come home at night, I don't look at it like I'm coming home to an empty house; I see it as coming home to my sanctuary, my little haven that is all mine. Doesn't that sound wonderful? :)

So here's my list of the best parts of living independently!

1. Personalizing.

The VERY BEST thing about having your own place is getting to do whatever you want with it! I seriously have so much fun picking out things for my apartment. So much so that I can never decide on anything. I think everyone's home should be a totally immersive environment of themselves, so it's really fun for me to find things that match my personality. And if you don't have the money to deck out your place all on your own, then you have the whole place to yourself to make a mess for DIY projects. I plan on getting around to that. I'm going to paint the walls in my new place that I'm moving into on Tuesday.

2. Nobody judges you.

Sometimes I sleep until 2:00. (Rarely, but sometimes it happens.) Sometimes I listen to Taylor Swift. Sometimes I eat way too much ice cream. Sometimes I leave my dishes in the sink for a week. If I lived with anyone else, I would feel SO insecure about these things. But I don't! It's my life, and I don't feel judged for it.

3. Noise factor.

I can't tell you how many times during the school year last year, I was trying to write a research paper and all I can hear is Aaron Carter playing from my living room. For me, roommates = no. I like to study on campus or at coffee shops a lot of the time, but it's SO nice to know now that if I ever need a totally quiet place, my home is there. Also, I never get woken up in the morning by anything whatsoever. Ever. Not any roommates screaming, not my boyfriend playing music or video games, not my mom yelling at me for being lazy. It rules.

Sure, paying the bills all by yourself can suck, but to me, my sanity is priceless, and I absolutely love having my own place to myself :)

And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless. <3

20 Years of Snow

Dressed in all black and new jeans. Feels good!

On Friday night, Ryan took me to the Festival of Trees. So fun and festive! It kind of made me wish I had a Christmas tree haha, but it's okay.

Yesterday I went on a semi-successful Christmas shopping venture. I got my parents covered, and I ordered something for Ryan this morning on Amazon. I also ordered myself The Death of Bunny Munro by Nick Cave. I sat in Barnes & Noble forever, thinking "Should I get this for Blake.. or myself?" Hahah. I thought about buying it, reading it, then giving it to him. But no. I want my own copy C: I don't have enough books! I'm getting Blake something just as awesome though.

I also watched The Runaways last night, which was quite good. I can't wait until I get my 37" TV though. It's almost hard to focus on the tiny, tiny screen I have haha.

And I don't know what I'm doing today. Maybe going to Target for some gift wrap... or Ikea for some Ikea food.

Hope you all had a good weekend! :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Laser Beam

First good day I had in a while! It started out rocky; I almost called in sick to work. But I sucked it up and decided it was worth going. And it ended up being a decent day of work! I started feeling less ill once I started working; not less tired, but less ill. I've been feeling so not myself lately.. I'm not sick, but I do feel like something's wrong. I feel narcoleptic and fatigued 24/7. I'm going to head to the doctor and do some blood tests hopefully this weekend. And hopefully I'm not working AS much next week. I think I just need to rest.

After work, Ryan and I went to Trio. It's a cute little Italian place. We had spaghetti, pizza, and goat cheese cheesecake and it was lovely. Reminded me of summertime when we went to a new place every day :)

Then we went to the super nice Starbucks by my work. For some reason they had for sale one of those couples books- where it asks questions and you and your significant other fill in answers. I always liked the idea of those, but every one that I've found has seemed kind of off and strange. (Especially that "All About Us" one. Seriously, if you answered all the questions in there, you'd probably end up breaking up.) But this one that Starbucks has, is amazing. It has a bunch of quotes about love that lead into the questions you answer. It's called "Two." I'm going to fill it all out first, then give it to Ryan and let him read it, then he'll fill it out and give it back to me. :) So cute!

We're also sending out Christmas cards to our families! Wow, it makes me feel like an adult.

And still speaking of Christmas:

So cute! I love Target Christmas stuff! Never mind that I couldn't agree less with the quote "Let it snow."

Sunday, November 28, 2010


Given that I will be able to get into the classes that I'm planning on, I think I've got my spring schedule figured out :) I'm taking College Algebra, French I, and Intro to Humanities. And yes, that does make me a full-time student! French is 5 credits, which kind of scares me to death, but I'm so excited to finally start learning it. I'm thinking of even minoring in French, then if my graphic design career doesn't work out or if I have a mid-life crisis, maybe I'll get my masters in teaching and teach French.

I'm ridiculously excited to be a student again :)

And on top of that, it leaves me with two whole days and two nights to work, which gives me about 26 hours a week, which is plenty of money for me :) I'm just going to save and save and save and then take a really nice vacation with Ryan next summer. I'm already kind of impressed with how well I've managed my paychecks!

Still though, I can't help but lust over a few things. I feel strange writing a blog without any pictures, so here are a few items that I've been on the very edge of clicking "Add to Shopping Cart." Christmas is soon though, so after shopping for the boyfriend and family, I'll treat myself to a couple :) Deciding on which ones is the hard part.

(I don't think I've ever loved a clock/anything so much in my life. It's $55, but it WILL be mine.)

(Oven mitts! FREAKING CUTE.)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Please and thanks.

Pictures from yesterday:

Today while I was working, we closed down the store and we all got off work early due to the blizzard! It almost makes up for all the times we should have gotten a snow day in high school but never did.

Apparently it's going to be a horrible snowstorm. That's why I'm all alone tonight, blogging... I would be at Ryan's or he would be here, but we're both too scared to have to drive home later. Better not risk it. So I'm sitting here doing nothing... Perhaps I'll make myself some hot chocolate or butterbeer and watch Boy Meets World or something :)

Also because of the storm, I don't know if I'll be going home for Thanksgiving :( I really want to make it, and chances are I will, but I might not. We're having a relatively big Thanksgiving at my parents house, and I really want to see my relatives that I never get to see. I also bought a pretty shirt just for the occasion! AND my uncle hired a professional photographer hahaha. How sad it would be if I weren't in those pictures! So PLEASE go away, snow! Thanksgiving kind of means a lot to me, especially this year. I have way too much to be thankful for. My supportive family, my sweet sweet boyfriend, my job. I'm so so grateful for all of it.

Monday, November 22, 2010

New video.

Good morning, crash queens and motor babies ;) Today is that day.

I'm thankful to be going to work today. I had such a lazy weekend. Now I'm loaded on coffee and embracing the day. Gonna work, go pick up my CD, and listen to it on repeat for the rest of the night while I clean up my messy apartment and pack for Thanksgiving.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

I think the time has come for my Deathly Hallows review.

I took pictures even though there wasn't too much to take pictures of. Just lots of people waiting around in cute costumes :)

Here was my outfit :)

That tie is now hanging on my cork board in my bedroom. Makes it feel like I'm in a Gryffindor dorm wooh!

So anyway. Our showing was at 1:20 AM. And my overall thoughts: I really can't sum it up in one sentence. I have to see it again to make an accurate judgement. BUT I can make this comparison, overall: Lord of the Rings and the Two Towers. Now, The Two Towers is everyone's least favorite LOTR movie, and that's not what I'm saying at all. Deathly Hallows Part 1 is undecidedly my first or second favorite HP film. What I'm saying is, that feeling that you got after seeing The Two Towers was exactly like how I felt after DH P1. This feeling that the end is so near you can taste it. And that you want more... but you don't. I wonder if in the last film, they'll pull a Peter Jackson and keep fading out... and in again... and out... and in again... I know that they don't want to let go as badly as we don't want to.

It hit me so unbelievably hard when I walked out of that theater. I cried a little during Dobby's death, but when we left the theater, I tried to keep it in but I couldn't. I was like shaking/makeup-down-my-face crying. Must have looked bloody stupid. But I couldn't stop thinking "holy crap there's only one more now! Only ONE!" I do not want it to end. I'm kind of dreading July 15th :(

I realize now that PMS was probably mostly to blame for that over-emotional moment hah :) And how late it was. I was just completely drained by that time.

But the movie! The acting was superb, the accuracy to the book was satisfying, and well... I don't know. It's all kind of a blur. I really should see it again before writing this, but whatever. The dance scene with Nick Cave was a little awkward, but I'm still glad it was in there. That song just works. I feel like the relationship between Harry and Hermione was more prominent than ever. I liked how much the relationships matured in this one; you could really feel Ron and Hermione secretly falling in love with each other, rather than like in the sixth film, where it was a little more immature- Ron kisses another girl and Hermione runs away and cries. Harry and Ginny are still hollow. But I'm sure there will be a good moment between those two in the next film. Sigh... it's not the "next" anymore. It's the last.

Biggest disappointment: WHERE is the big argument scene with Lupin and Harry?! Did I miss it? It seems SO silly that Tonks would bring it up in the beginning during the Seven Potters scene and then they never brought it up again in the whole movie. I'm so disappointed; it's such a fantastic scene in the book that shows so much of both Lupin and Harry's characters.

Biggest surprise: The animated part that you see while Hermione reads The Tale of the Three Brothers. It took me off guard, but the animation looked pretty sweet.

I also feel that the Malfoy Manor scene was very played down. I almost was second-guessing that it was the last scene in the movie because I don't think it was made to be climactic enough. It was true to the book, which was the problem. They should have made it a little more dramatic and a little more war-like to end the film with a bang and set the mood for the upcoming film. And Dobby's death was sad. Sad sad sad. But well-done.

I'll add more to this after I think of more haha. I need to leave now to go watch Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus with Ryan :) Maybe I'll write a review on that, to get my mind off HP... haha.

So I'll leave with this. Because it describes how I felt after seeing DH so perfectly. I feel like Harry during the Battle of Hogwarts... walking straight to his death. So sad... so sad.

Honest to god... when I look back at my childhood and teenage years, this is what I'll think of.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Four days.

I'm totally ready for Deathly Hallows. I got the shirt from Hot Topic that I wanted: a Gryffindor polo with a tie :) Snatched up the very last one. It's cute! And Ryan's wearing my old Gryffindor scarf. I seem to remember letting Sariah wear that scarf too when we saw Half-Blood Prince.. haha.

Also, "O Children" by Nick Cave... is in Deathly Hallows. WHAT- I DON'T EVEN- Greatest thing my ears have ever heard. It's weird thinking that a song I actually know with lyrics and whatnot will be in a Harry Potter film because they've never done that before. Apparently it's being played while Harry and Hermione dance in the tent or something. I could see it being played on the anarchist radio station they listen to. The lyrics fit so very well.

Here comes Frank and poor old Jim
They're gathering round with all my friends
We're older now, the light is dim
And you are only just beginning

O children

We have the answer to all your fears
It's short, it's simple, it's crystal dear
It's round about, it's somewhere here
Lost amongst our winnings

O children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Rejoice, rejoice

The cleaners have done their job on you
They're hip to it, man, they're in the groove
They've hosed you down, you're good as new
They're lining up to inspect you

O children

Poor old Jim's white as a ghost
He's found the answer that was lost
We're all weeping now, weeping because
There ain't nothing we can do to protect you

brb need to finish the rest of the first half of DH!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Apartment 2C take 2

My apartment that was supposed to be a sanctuary of pure femininity has somehow turned out looking like a boy's dorm room. But that's ok :) I just got a huge paycheck and I'm staying on the look out for girly little things to add to it. I also don't like the green and yellow scheme I got going. Kinda ugly. But that's what I have to work with right now :) I didn't even bother taking pictures of my bedroom because it's still basically just a room of boxes.

I don't know how I feel about this ottoman. It came with the two couches, and my mom thinks I should keep it, but.. mehhh. A coffee table would be more practical.

The walls are so bare! AH! Urban Outfitters has a really pretty GIRLY canvas print but it's like $100. Maybe next paycheck.

And since I have no bookshelf or wall shelves, the kitchen table is home for my books! And I love these vases soooooo much. Ryan got them for me from the wonderful consignment store in St. George that I can't think of the name of.

I'm also happy with how my little end table arrangement ended up. I bought this super cute lantern from Ikea, intending to hang it from the ceiling. But I kind of like this a lot. And this pineapple candle is to die for. From Z Galleries. And of course my favorite picture taken with my Diana :)

And lastly, I'm in love with my fridge! I'm putting up all my concert tickets, tickets to really good movies, and tickets to any other kind of shows (i.e. Mamma Mia!) I've been to plenty of other shows too, by the way.. I just haven't saved every single ticket haha. I believe the oldest one here is from July 2007. (Also notice the three Half-Blood Prince tickets!)

Tonight is actually probably the longest amount of time I've spent alone in my apartment just chilling. And it hasn't been one bit lonely! I have plenty to keep me occupied. (Cleaning, organizing, more cleaning...)

Happy weekend! Tomorrow I'm sleeping in then spending the day out with Ryan. Gettin myself a blu-ray player :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Different names for the same thing.

This outfit is way too similar to yesterday's. But it's just too easy! This is my attire for the entire winter k, accept it.

top: Forever 21; hoodie: American Apparel

I'm so boring. It's nice.

Oh and look at me wearing my hair down and shittttt. It keeps my neck warm. I can't afford scarves.

9 DAYS!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Quick blog.

Had a good day :) 8-hour shift, caught up on my re-read of Deathly Hallows, and watched How I Met Your Mother episodes with Ryan that we've never seen before!

But I'm sad that my apartment is so cold. I'm sad that I have to tape up the windows because they let cold air right in. I mean, I'm not shivering or anything, but it's not as warm as I like it to be. The first thing I'm getting with this next paycheck is some knit hats and gloves and long-sleeved thermals to sleep in.
With all the shit I need to get, I'll be lucky if this huge paycheck lasts me a week haha.

I liked my outfit today.

hoodie: don't remember; jacket, jeans, shoes: Forever 21; bag: grandma's

Forever 21 has a million different-colored fleece hoodie tops that would also be perfect for layering this way. I think it looks so cute. And warm!

Time to sleep then wake up again and go to work again. I haaaaaaate opening. I haven't had to ever get up this early since high school. But I'm being optimistic :) Life is overall actually pretty relaxing, despite how tired my body constantly feels. I guess it's the gratification of independently supporting myself.

Oh and I got both the 18th and 19th off for midnight HP. WUDDUPPPPPPP

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Remember when.

I'm drowning in nostalgia.

I feel like I'm high off of memories.

I'm glad I was an outcast in high school. High school really is a play, and everyone gets casted, except the outcasts. They get to have more fun than the stars. The stars have rehearsals every day; they have to memorize lines. But the outcasts can do whatever they want.

I'm glad I didn't spend all of my time worrying about friends and parties and dating. I lived in my head. I lived in music, art, and writing, and I found a world all my own - so much better than the world of Parowan High School.

And middle school... Middle school made me who I am today. That night in June 2005 might be the greatest night of my life. You're probably wondering how just a night at home with friends could be the greatest night of my life... I don't know either. But I'm pretty sure it was. Twizzlers, Ava Adore, kitchen table, sunrise. If only those ladies knew.

This is so far from my regular blogging, but this has consumed me lately. I'm just so high off the old days. I like who I was and where I came from. I like my story.

I'm picking up where I left off.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

we are restless and tired, sleeping with giants

As promised, here are shots of my new apartment. My blank slate :) I'm so excited. My parents are only here on Saturday to help me move by big things, so I only have that day to find a couch at DI. It made me kind of mad at first, but now I kind of like the idea! I like trying to be creative with limited material.

So this is from the doorway:

You can vaguely see my BEAUTIFUL end table I got from DI for $10. It's basically my only personal item in the apartment so far, other than some books I moved into the closet. I'm so in love with that table; it's 100% my style.

And basically from my bedroom doorway:

Look at that window! Oh I love it. Don't mind the bathroom door sitting in the middle of the kitchen; I don't.

My bedroom:

And the one wall in my bedroom:

I would rather it be actual brick color, rather than painted white, but I really love my brick wall. Also in my bedroom, somebody very visably wrote "Lex Luther 2010" on the window ledge haha, should have taken a picture of that. I'm going to add "Killjoys 2011."

And I have a radiator!

It's so cute! It's kind of inconveniently placed, but I don't know what would be a better place haha. The whole place is pretty cramped, but I love it. It has just enough room for all of my stuff. And the fact that it fits my queen size bed is good enough for me.

Kick-Ass arrived in my mailbox today, so time for that :)

Monday, October 25, 2010

warning: emotional blog post

YAY a real blog post. Last Friday night, Motion City Soundtrack came to town along with some really shitty bands. They came to the Avalon theater, which is the Salt Lake City haven of shitty bands. (Brokencyde is playing there soon. Shall we torch the building or start a riot?) The Avalon is a shitty venue too though; it was once an old movie theater, so there's weird ampitheater-like seating, and it just totally gets in the way. But nothing could stop me from seeing Motion City Soundtrack. FUCK they're amazing.

But first was some band called Valencia that I didn't even see. I showed up right before Saves The Day, who I didn't even know was playing at all. It intensely fucked with my mind for a second, because I always get Saves The Day and Say Anything confused for some reason. Probably because A) I care about neither of them and B) because neither of their names are unique in any way; a band name HAS to have at least one word in it that isn't used in every other sentence of everyday speech. True story. Here's a picture of Saves The Day.

They're an emo band, nothing more to say.

So then Motion City Soundtrack came on. And it was kind of cool because normally there's this huge anticipation for when the band you came to see finally comes on stage; you've usually been standing for hoursss on end and your feet hurt and you're secretly wishing all the other bands would finish up their sets already. But since I'd only been there for about 20 minutes before MCS, I didn't feel any of that. Kinda neat.

So they opened with The Weakends... which set kind of a darker mood at first, but I liked it. I loved it. I love that song. Absolutely beautiful. I'm trying to decide on lyrics for my first tattoo, and oh how I'd love to get some MCS ones, but, they're all pretty dismal.

They didn't play a couple that I would have liked to hear, like Stand Too Close or Time Turned Fragile. They said that their merch girl picked the set list that night, which is kind of cool but kind of lame.

So then something happened. It's not something I talk about a lot, in fact I don't share this with anybody, but I will share this one with you.

I have these things in my life that I call "movie moments," and they're really just that. They're very rare, and very existential, and so far, very beautiful. It's when I feel kind of out of my body, and that moment feels defined in some way; it's either just so beautiful it deserves to be in a movie, or it's kind of like that moment in a movie where it's the "turning point" in the plot. I've only had two so far in my whole life. This is my third.

MCS starts playing Feel Like Rain. This isn't even really one of my favorite songs at all. But what is special about it though, is that it's one of the first MCS songs I'd ever heard. I was 13 when I fell in love with this band. I heard "The Future Freaks Me Out," saw them at Warped 05, bought their album instantly, and have been in love ever since. "Feel Like Rain" is off of Commit This To Memory, which I played constantly through the summer before my first year of high school. The summer before I moved to Utah. That summer is so engraved in my mind because it's really the summer that changed everything.

So I hear this song, and quite literally out of nowhere, this realization pours over me that I am now an adult.

I start crying. I'm pretty sure the lights are glistening off my face, and I'm pretty sure the bass player notices, and I've probably upset him quite a bit by looking so upset at his show. But this song they're playing, it's making me realize that I'm still the same 13-year-old girl I was that summer in Las Vegas. I'm the same, but I'm an adult now. The day of this concert, was the first day of my first real job. It was the week I got my own apartment, all to myself. I'm an adult now, but this music is a part of my teenage life that I'll never get to live again, but it's still living with me. I was filled with such joy at that moment, realizing that I've managed to stay true to myself after six whole years of tainting and rearranging.

I didn't mean to write something so emotional. But it was such an emotional moment. But then as quickly as it came, it left. And I was happy and dancing again :)

After Say Anything played, I got an amazing hug from Justin Pierre. And it's still hard for me to think of a way to shortly express all of that emotion I've felt to the person who is the creator of it. (When I meet Gerard Way, I'm fucked.) So I just told him his music is so great, and he signed my ticket.

Oh and I must say, I will always always always love being a part of a whole room of people singing the first verse of "The Future Freaks Me Out." I love how it's a ritual. After six years, I still look forward to that every time :D

It was a goooooooooood night :)

And in other news, I'm working like a little bee. Sometimes when I'm daydreaming at work (I either daydream or am singing to myself about 90% of the time at work) I think about how musicians get up on stage and play music every day for a couple months, and that's their work. Their work is to be creative, and make literally thousands of people happy. I guess I'm making people happy by making them salads... but they're not going to remember it nearly as well as I will remember things like last Friday night. That's going to the grave.

I'm exhuasted. Ryan is seeing Janelle Monae and Of Montreal tonight without me D: jk, I just can't afford it.. so I'm getting myself a yummy coffee drink and relaxing :) Good night. Hooray for horrendously long blog posts.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Hello thereeeeeeeee

Who's up and ready an hour too early like usual? Meeeeeeeeeeeee.

So here I sit in my Zupas uniform, eating Ryan's cereal om nom nom, gettin' ready for my first day of real training. I'm nervous! The salads... they're so evil! It's reminded me of studying for human anatomy in 11th grade, because it's all just memorizing words. Except.. there's way more pressure now, because, you know, it's my job, rather than just a grade.

Good news is Motion City Soundtrack is tonight :) I can't remember if this will be the fourth or fifth time I've seen them; all the Warped Tours I've attended are all a blur o_o But I remember the reason I fell in love with them was because I'd only heard "The Future Freaks Me Out" and liked it, so decided to watch them at Warped Tour '05. It was love from then on. I adore the new album.

I've got a long day. I also need to check on my new apartment and see if the disgusting bathroom is fixed yet. Ugh. I'll post pictures of Motion City Soundtrack and of my  new apartment soon enough :)

Friday, October 15, 2010


"You are exactly the type of person we're looking for." That's what I like to hear!

I'm the newest employee at the future West Valley location offfffff

I couldn't have possibly cheesed up that interview more than I did, but it worked. I am employed, and I am happy. It also doesn't hurt that I FREAKING LOVE ZUPAS!!!


I am beyond tired. Like, I'm falling asleep right now. But for some reason I'm seeing the Blair Witch Project tonight at the Tower Theater. So stoked on Halloween. So stoked on life.

Favorite picture of the moment-

from Niotillfem

Thursday, October 14, 2010

things are looking up, oh finally

New apartment + job opportunities = some much-needed optimism :)

Sorry for the lack of blogs... Life is too boring for blogging! All I've been doing is applying for jobs. I don't have any money to do anything blog-worthy :( Hopefully that will change though. Oh I hope so much!

But today I applied for the apartment that I've wanted for months. Hopefully I'll be moving in in the next couple weeks. THAT I will post pictures of. It is adorable! My bedroom is practically like a sun room, it has all wood floors, and a huge tall window in the living room, and plenty of closet space, and it's a corner unit. Endlessly amazing!

See you soon, fingers crossed I stay this high.

Sunday, October 3, 2010


I've been so busy with my shop and other things that I haven't had any bloggin' time :( I have many pictures to share. My brother's 21st birthday party:

It was ADVENTURE THEMED! And this is my lovely cake. I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

We listened to 1940's music and the Tarzan soundtrack.

Ryan was a caveman.

Marty was a pirate.

Nicole was an Aborigine.

Plus many other friends and fun things, but I didn't feel like taking pictures. Even though I was a wildlife photographer ;) I love these creative parties. I want to have a murder mystery party as a housewarming party at my new apartment. But I don't know if that will work in a studio. Haha.

I also have pictures from me and Ryan's 1st anniversary. On our actual anniversary (September 18th) we went to Park City. I'd never been there before and it's just as gorgeous as everyone has told me. It's a tiny little town nestled in the mountains with loads of local shops. In fact, on the main street, there's nothing but local shops. My favorite was a little clothing store called Olive & Tweed. Oh I'll definitely be going back there when I have more money C:

We had coffee at "The Java Cow" which we looked up online beforehand, but it was very tourist-y. Afterward we stumbled on another coffee shop, don't remember the name, but it was sooooo cute. It had teapots :D

That blue teapot is now mine :))) It's so Alice In Wonderland. It's the first thing I've really bought for my new apartment, and it's perfect. Thank you Ryan!!

And one day, those red cream and sugar cups will be mine.

So then our dinner got postponed, so we didn't end up having it until about a week ago. We went to Faustina, which is a little place right by our house that we've wanted to go to forever. The outside area is so cute at night. And of course the food was amazing. Every bit of it. Mmm.

Tonight we're seeing The Social Network. FINALLY a good movie, 2010.